Last night was rough. I'm not sure what went wrong. As we were settling down in bed, my boyfriend and I were discussing the set up of my parents' desks, and I mentioned I thought I could help my mother clean off all three of her desks when I go with him Wednesday. He pointed out that the desks are actually "L" shaped, and there are only two, not three straight desks like I thought. I defended myself saying that obviously I wouldn't know that, because I had never seen them clean. He continued discussing the desk set up and suddenly I was beside myself. Not only did I feel like I had left my body, but I was filled with a sudden sense of rage. I started shaking and I felt like I was screaming but I just heard myself telling my boyfriend to stop talking to me like I was three. I was wholly overwhelmed and out of control. Then, just as fast as it began, the rage was gone, and I started sobbing.
My sister and I have wondered for the past 8 years or so, if my mother is bipolar, or if she is really just capable of shifting her mood that fast. She will snap in and out of being happy and being furious.
All I remember is falling asleep crying as he held me. I then, proceeded to have several nightmares throughout the night.What the (insert any number of four letter words here) was that? I wonder if I didn't just get a glimpse into what my mother goes through when she is pressured or overwhelmed.
Oh, and I just remembered waking up with a UTI at some point.
Bloody hell.
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