The In-Between

I find that as I begin to really allow myself to acknowledge the hoarding issue and related family strains, that I'm uncomfortable with all the right people, and comfortable with all the wrong people. I realized today, that when people see me working on my clean up plans and they ask about it, I'm so much more willing to share with them. I brush it off from people closer to me (excluding the boyfriend). I haven't even talked about it with my older sister. I'm so much more ashamed, especially if I know they've been in my parents' house before. Plus, they might be in contact with them, and upset them with what I might share.

I feel like I should try to keep their anonymity as much as possible, but at the same time, we need help! When I did talk to my mom two years ago about the hoarding issue, she told me point blank that having a 1-800-got-junk trunk outside her house would kill her. I respect that, but I know she's rented dumpsters before, just never been able to part with enough to fill them.

I'm back to just hoping for the best this Friday. We're working for them, and then making dinner since we haven't visited much before last week (for relevant reasons). That means I'll have to clean the kitchen in a big way, before I can be productive in cooking.

I feel torn between the two worlds, the clean and the unclean. I feel obligated to defend my parents, but I know they need help, for physical and mental clutter. I'm trying to land somewhere in-between.