The third bedroom is the smallest, and was the last room I lived in from high school until I moved out. I was in this bedroom when I threatened to move out at 18 while in college. I had packed up half of my stuff and found a place to move, but my mother told me if I was adult enough to live on my own I was also adult enough to be cut off.
It's where I lived when my boyfriend came over for the first time, while my parents were out of town. I was so embarrassed by the state of my room that I tried to keep him out. He eventually saw it and the rest of the house, and wasn't shy about voicing his surprise at how messy everything was. Shortly after that, I decided to do a make over. My parents were in Colorado for a few weeks, and I took advantage of that time.
The following is my bedroom makeover from about six years ago.
First I cleaned up. My room was very Oriental/Tae kwon do themed at the time.
Then I started packing things up. I dismantled this desk and meant to take it to goodwill or the thrift store, but I think it's probably still in my parents garage in pieces.
I put up three sheets of fabric on the wall adjacent to the living room, two black pieces on the ends and a piece of metallic bronze on the inside.
Then I painted the wall with the door and the wall with the window.
With several years and miles distance, I would have a slightly different style :) But at 18 this was amazingly empowering transformation for me.
After I moved out, it took two weeks for my mother to hoard the room. If she knew I was coming over, she'd lock the door. Some time later, she moved most of her stuff out of this room, painted, and my dad moved in. The bookcase is one of a pair that I borrowed the year I lived alone. It was originally in the family room, but now it holds my mom's junk in this room, and the rest is my dad's bedroom.
Thinking about resale, this room would be best as a guest room, library, or in-home office.
My mother would never let me re-decorate my room in any way except for posters and pictures. No change to the floor (I had white linoleum in my childhood bedroom, of all things, she still thinks it was a good idea!) I was never allowed to paint or change the draperies. Except the one time when she decided that my blue closet door and trim needed to match the white floor and walls. EVERYTHING was white when she was done. My dad said it looked like a hospital.
ReplyDeleteI always thought it was unfair that I never got to redecorate. After reading your post I realize how empowering it would've been if I'd been able to make those kinds of choices -- and this is where it hurts most -- now I understand why she wouldn't let me make those choices. She needed to stay in control.
I HATE HPs!!!
I hear you, something like leaving your mark on your own space really makes a difference. I did this to my room while my parents were out of the state. I knew they would be gone for a few weeks, but this was when my mother had an accident and they had to stay for nearly a month extra while she was in the hospital. I was afraid for her reaction when she got home, but she was so drugged up she didn't notice for a long time.
ReplyDeleteWhen my mom was young, she shared a room with her older sister. One summer while she was at camp, an older brother moved out, so their mother gave my mom's sister the choice of staying in that room or moving to the bigger one. Of course she took the bigger room, and she was allowed to decorate both rooms without my mother's input. She got back from camp and felt completely alienated from her own space. I know that has had a detrimental affect on her relationship with her sister, and the way she regards space and her control of it.
I should clarify she was heavily medicated for pain from all the broken bones and head trauma, not just on drugs.
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