It's when we go to bed, and we're not already exhausted, that I think about my parents. My boyfriend last worked for them a month ago, and has yet to see a paycheck from them.
|Before I helped clean anything other than my mother's desk (lower leftt hand corner)|
|Boyfriend's cellphone picture of the disaster the front office area has become|
Dad is out of the country working a job on a cruise line (documenting the amazing time all the rich insurance executives are having...coincidental given my current circumstance). My mother was upset when he accepted the job, and made sure everyone knew about it. She claimed he always refused to go on cruises with her, so she went and booked a hotel room for herself to sulk in. My dad's rebuttal was that he tried to get her hired, and it's a paid job. The way they treat each other at this point though, it's pretty clear that it's okay that she's not going.
They were over not too long ago, at our new place. Every thing someone said had the risk of setting my mother off. Someone would say something, and we'd all make eye contact around her wondering if her mood could be predictable. I got the wii game out and set my parents up to bowl. My mom became belligerent and upset that she wasn't winning, "The remote doesn't work. The game is too slow. Why didn't the game give me instructions? Your game is broken, obviously." Meanwhile my dad was getting into and enjoying himself, but quietly.
Meanwhile my mom is multitasking, both attempting to play the game and telling my boyfriend about her plan to replace the large picture window in their living room. He related the story of what his parents did and how much they like how it turned out. She was immediately defensive and said "Well, I wouldn't have to replace the window if the wood around it wasn't rotting out. And that's not my fault" *severe glare directed to my father* My dad's response was "I don't know why you're bothering to put a window back in, why not just do sidding and close it up? There are too many boxes and piles of crap in front of it to be a functional window." We just about felt awkward-ed out of our own home. It was awful.
Then to break the tension, my boyfriend suggested we turn it to boxing. My dad and I went at it, which was kind of cute since he was my martial arts teacher for so many years. We had fun, and I knocked him out. Then he passed his wiimote to my mother and she and I played. Same reaction as last time "Why isn't this more realistic? I swing and punch and it doesn't do anything! This is stupid if it's not going to work. If this were real life I'd be winning by so much."
Thankfully, the oven timer went off at this point. Saved by the bell.
It's hard to think about what they're living with every day. My boyfriend sent me a picture of his own workspace and I could see how bad it had gotten since he worked several weeks before. I want to go in, to have my dog's nails trimmed and have a bath, and to visit. But I know I also want to go to see the downward spiral. Based on the clutter blindness post, I wonder if video recording the building/house/garage would have a positive effect on her. There's no way to predict what her reaction would be, but I my parents' relationship and their quality of life declining.